Southbound Gringos

Below, are some of the many highlights of my family’s trip to Argentina…

First Day:

RIPPED OFF: Natalya and Will’s plane landed an hour late and worried that they wouldn’t make their connection, they skipped the taxi line, and hopped into an unmarked gypsy cab. Obviously (and as the story always goes), the taxi driver ripped them off by taking their newly exchanged pesos, and giving them back counterfeit bills = US$60 lost in their first hour in South America. It was a brilliant first move.

TECHNICAL PROBLEMS: Promptly after Natalya and Will arrived, the entire family, all six of us, plus one very unfortunately Argentine woman, got stuck in our tiny elevator between floors in 95 + degree heat. Luckily, the doors were pried open within half an hour by our trusty super (who will reappear again in this story).

The Middle:

RIPPED OFF (AGAIN): Got ripped off by our first hotel in Patagonia, Villa Blanca in El Calafate, when they insisted that we pay all in cash or get charged 10% more on our credit card. Found out later, that this was illegal if not organized up front, and none of our other hotels did this.

TAX: Encountered Argentina’s 21% vat tax that we hadn’t budgeted into our hotel room spending.

FEES: Racked up enormous ATM and foreign conversion fees as every store and restaurant wants cash only, but the ATM limit was a tiny US$200 in Patagonia.

El SOL ES DIABLO: Natalya, announcing that she has never burned in her whole, entire life, laid out on our deck for over two hours (ignoring my and Mom’s irritating nagging to put on some sunscreen) and got so burnt that she could barely move for days. Her whole chest bubbled and her entire body peeled. Will did the same thing, but got off slightly luckier, with only second-degree burns.

LOVE: Will found the girl of his dreams in Patagonia, who looked just like Hermoine from his Harry Potter dreams. After ogling her on the bus for a while, Will started up a conversation and discovered that this gorgeous vision of dark hair and bushy eyebrows, is planning on attending his college, Boulder, in the fall (with her boyfriend in tow… but details, details).

CLASSICS: We watched the movie Gremlins.

BLACKOUT: Natalya and mom, in an extreme heat wave with rolling blackouts throughout the city, both blew dried their hair at the same time, in different parts of the apartment and blew out the fuse. But not just of our unit, the ENTIRE building went out. Our trusty super had to be called (again) the get the building’s power back up and running.

IMMIGRATION PAPERS: When we tried to return into Argentina from Uruguay, we had to sweet talk the immigration officer because Will had thrown out his immigration papers. Will says it was my fault, that I told him to do it. NEVER! Bone of contention! Just because I had also thrown mine out, but re-found them by digging through a trashcan, means nothing, nothing at all. That is not evidence!

Last Day:

On the last day, a cascade of mishaps made our previous fumbles look like child’s play… At 5 a.m., we said our goodbyes, and I got the family into two taxis, and reminded them of the name of the airport. Then I went back to sleep.

Around 7 a.m. our doorbell rings. Groggily, I answer it. “We’re BAAAACCKKKK!!!!!” Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

What could have gone wrong you ask?? Why, everything of course!!

AIRPORT SNAFFU: Bill and Will went to the wrong airport (a 45 min drive from the airport the wanted to go to). Realizing their mistake, they turned around and headed to the right airport, where Natalya and Dena were waiting impatiently in the check-in line as the clocked ticked closer and closer to their flight time.

TRY AGAIN TOMORROW: Once reunited, at the RIGHT airport, they went to the ticket counter. The agent looked at them with confusion and explained patiently, that their flight was actually not today, but tomorrow morning.

FISTFIGHT: So, when they loaded back into two taxis to return to the apartment, they thought nothing else could wrong, until one of the taxi drivers got in a fistfight with another taxi driver. Their driver actually was punched in the face a few times before calmly chauffeuring them back to my apartment.

LOST: Then, when nothing else could get worse, Mom left her purse in the taxi – money, iphone, checkbook, drivers license, credit cards, makeup: poof and gone.

The only saving grace was that the passports had not been in the purse, so they were free to try to leave Buenos Aires again the next day … from the right airport, on the right date.

*****

You have got to love vacation with the DeSenas… I had the time of my life!!

No trip to Argentina would be complete without a Tango show.

We skipped the glitz, glam and costume changes of the big hotel Tango shows and headed to tiny Bar Sur (http://www.bar-sur.com.ar/), the oldest Tango Bar in the city’s oldest neighborhood, San Telmo, for an intimate experience that whisks you back decades, into Buenos Aires of the 1940s.

The bar is so tiny that the waiters have to zip through the minuscule dance floor to serve the few small round tables lining the walls where patrons drink or have dinner.  They move with their own rhythm, threading around the band, past the dancers moving over the black and white checkered floor.

The space is so tight that one dancer high kicked a full wine glass off a table, shattering it across the dance floor. The waiters cleaned it up in no time, mopping around the dancers’ twirling feet.

Tango at Bar Sur was the most romantic, simple, delightful and moving experience we have had in Buenos Aires.

Merry Christmas Buenos Aires-style = fun with fire!!

As is tradition, the moment the clock clicked to 12 a.m. signaling that it was officially Christmas, we lit off fireworks from our deck. Actually, the entire city lit off fireworks.

Nothing organized, just an entire city full of people adding their own bright bursts to the night sky.

The accumulation of flares created a vision better than any professional show: A fantastical performance that lasted until then sun rose on Christmas morning, with caustic booms thundering against concrete tunnels that sent Fuji into convulsions of terror until dawn.

Note: Thanks to Will and his trusty tripod for the “sparkler drawing” shots and thanks to mom for bringing down our stockings all the way from the US so we could have a slice of home!

Shearing on Hacienda Nibepo Aike, El Calafate, Patagonia...

On our last day in Patagonia, we take a trip to the green microclimate of Hacienda Nibepo Aike on the shores of Lago Roca (yes, yet another lake and another glacier) to get a feel for a day in the life of Southern ranchers.

Having spent countless hours, holidays, weekends and vacations on a sheep farm just outside Balclutha, New Zealand, the entire place seemed as familiar to me as a worn and shiny pebble kept in a flinty pocket.

I was right at home and it made me dream again about having my own farm one day…

On Natalya's twenty-forth birthday, we travelled back to El Calafate from El Chaltén by bus.

Luckily for her, we checked into an absolutely stunning hotel, Design Suites (http://www.designsuites.com/hoteles/calafate/), on the shores of Lago Argentino and settled in for a lovely birthday dinner complete with lake view.

And for once, instead of having her birthday on the shortest, darkest day of the year, she was given a day that stretches bright blue and yellow-gold past the 10 p.m. sunset and into the softly deepening night…

We wake to pouring rain and buffeting winds. Gales hurl the rain at my windowpane like the tiny arrows of war in a miniature. It is a daunting and cold sound.

But we are here only once in a lifetime, so we set out on a hike to Laguna del Desierto, whose beautiful waters sparked an international border conflict between Chile and Argentina. The dispute was eventually settled in Argentina’s favor by an international tribune on October 12, 1985, which is subsequently also the founding date of El Chaltén, the youngest town in Argentina.

We are soaked to the bone with chattering teeth and steam billowing from our bodies as we navigate up a steep, seemingly endless, slippery forest path. But when we reach the top (where winds tried to knock us off the mountain), we are greeted by the bluest sapphire star of a lake, at the foot of yet another glacier.

In the gray skies, and through the sheen of sleet, it looks like a wavering silk mirage, a blue handkerchief caught in the breeze.

Note: Sorry about the just okay photos… my hands were numb, my camera soaked. Not ideal. But thanks to big Biwwwy for a couple supplement shots to improve my original sub-par collection.